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Do the words still haunt you?

Btw, Jonny Craig's new solo album is fucking amazing. So pretty. Everyone should go download it. (:


Never know how much I love you

 Today was fun. Super fun. I'm in a wonderful mood, and I'm looking forward to just staying at home tonight. <3


Hello, Amanda. I want to play a game.

 The end of the first Saw movie makes me cry every single time. No fucking joke!

Wasted time and regrets. I've got too much of both. And neverminds and bad ideas. I have a lot of those too.

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 Well, last night was another interesting night. Not as fun as Saturday, but interesting all the same. I feel like another list is necessary, so last night I:
-Got dropped off in BFE in the middle of the parade route
-Hopped the barricades right in front of police officers and an oncoming float to get to the other side of Johnston
-Walked to Agave, it took forever
-Finally got to Agave, ate with Lauren, saw Tanner and his friends outside
-Walked around for hours on end, laughing hysterically and yelling at everyone with Lauren, you'd swear we were drunk
-Lauren fell down steps talking to herself in a window, LMFAO
-Walked to Borden's, sat in there to warm up
-Started making our way towards Dominoes
-Met up with Hunter, Alli, Domi, Gabi, Andrew, Dylan, Kat, Garrett, Caleb
-Left to go wait at Borden's with the boys for Kellie and Maddie to come get us
-Almost got in a fight with people at a college party? Not sure
-Went to Borden's, Dylan and Lauren were throwing rocks at cars and yelling at people outside. Almost got in more fights.
-Saw Collin Clark again, lmfao
-Smoked outside of Borden's
-Got bored/boys got hungry, walked to Agave again
-Got a table...people for Kari's birthday were there
-Didn't feel like eating anymore, sat with Dominique and Meredith and Alli at Kari's table
-Went to the fountain, almost got in trouble
-Got told something that made me feel like crying
-Walked to the parking tower
-Kellie picked us up, we forgot Dylan and Lauren
-Drove around forever trying to find them, finally found them
-Went BACK TO AGAVE to wait for Hunter to come get us
-Check out hot owner of Agave, he looks like fucking Brandon Boyd and his name is Abraham
-He gives us a weird doll thing, we decide together to name her Lola
-Everyone leaves Agave besides me, Domi, Lauren, Alli and Meredith
-While waiting for Hunter to come get us, Alli throws Lola over a fence and into a parade float, beheads her, and breaks her arm off >.<
-Broke into a parade float to retrieve her, break down an orange fence to get into someone's yard to get her
-Hunter finally comes to get us, drives off while I'm not even all the way in the car/the door is still open
-He's in a terrible mood
-He takes my phone, reads something I don't want him to read, doesn't even have his hands on the wheel
-Get to Lauren's house
-Go home, finally
-Stay up until four o'clock in the morning talking to someone.

Basically, that was my night. Now, I'm just laying in my bed, about to go for a bike ride. Mardi Gras is fun and all, but I'm always worn out by Tuesday. I don't even think I'll be going out tonight. I feel kind of weird after hearing that about you. It shouldn't bother me, because it has nothing to do with me and it's not my business, I just feel stupid because everyone else knew besides me. And I feel a little used. But what's new, right?


The sucky thing about these insomniatic nights is that it gets really lonely.

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Feb. 15th, 2010

Guess where I am?
I'm at the end of the world.

I have no idea where to start talking about my night last night. I'll just write some thoughts.

-Picked up Lauren
-Got dropped off at Borden's, got a little lost, finally found our way to Tsunami
-Got let into the "lounge" are and ate amazingly delicious food there
-Left at around seven, started walking towards Johnston and the parade
-Got hysterical and started laughing and falling everywhere
-People stared
-Caught the middle of the parade, started following it down Johnston street
-Got catcalled billions of times by weird men/boys, flicked people off, little boys danced on us, woman asked to take our picture because we were "so cute". 
-Really, we were just freezing and huddled close together
-Continued down Johnston street, saw Vicky and Katarina, Olivia, Gabby, Jade and Nico at different times
-Spotted a fire and heard music coming from behind a house on Johnston street
-Snuck around behind the house and made our way to the backyard
-Crashing a Politics skateboard team party, bonfire, cute boys skating, huge makeshift ramp going up a tree, smokes, drinks, laughing, talking, meeting new people, Jonas, Tyler, Keith, Trixy
-Left there with people we met at the party, started walking towards the fair with them
-Ran into Rachel, Emily, Gabi B., Domi, Alli, Hunter, Gabi M., Evan, Maddie, Kieran, Kailey, etc.
-Picked up Maddie and started walking towards the fair again
-Jonas and Tyler make fun of Maddie, she calls a billion different people on her phone
-Screaming on the phone with Caleb, Garrett, and Andrew, they can't hear us
-Get to Southside bakery where Tyler offers us a ride, we decline. 
-Continue walking to the fair, it takes forever
-Maddie walks way ahead of us and almost gets hit by a car....
-She keeps hysterically giggling and walking away from us
-(People are staring again)
-We finally make it to the fair, meet up with Andrew, Garrett, Caleb and Kat
-Sit on the bench huddled together, trying to keep warm
-Hunter calls and says he's bringing Dominique to us
-They come, along with everyone else
-Dominique is incoherent and hysterical, you can imagine
-Walk around the fair for a little while, meet up with Tyler and Trixy again
-Want to go to CCs, can't, mom's coming
-Mom gets pissed off, I curse at her on the phone
-Step in mud
-Shoes are wet, Lauren and I feel like crying, we are so frustrated with my mom
-Finally find her, go home
-Get in my warm bed, cuddle and talk with Lauren

Can't wait to do it all over again Monday/Tuesday.

Now I'm babysitting, later. <3
 Oh my god, aren't you just fucking special!
I'm tired of hearing from you. I'm tired of you being on my newsfeed on facebook, your name being on the announcements, and your face being in the newspaper. 

Oh, I cut my hair. And I'm getting my ear pierced tomorrow. Maybe an industrial if my mom will let.
My mom will not let.
Maybe I'll get a tattoo on my face and dye my hair green while I'm at it. 

I have to go LJ. Bye<3


You show him what he is missing.

"You cool your bed-warm hands down on the broken radiator. And when you lay them freezing on me, I mumble, "Can you wake me later?" But I don't really want you to stop, and you know it so it doesn't stop you, and run your hands from my neck to my chest.."

I love that song so much. It really brings back memories for reasons I can't explain. Today was awesome (: The weather was gloomy, but it was just a really nice day. I'm starting to warm up to A days, I used to hate them so much. And we might not even be having school tomorrow, so that's wonderful. Today, I:
-Started on a stained glass project in art that I think will turn out beautifully. (Hopefully) I took it home with me to work on it over the weekend, but I realized when I got home that I don't have an exacto knife. Damn. /:
-Was quite literally swept off of my feet by Chance, who took me to the front of the 200 building so I wouldn't have to walk through the mud. Haha. I love the Briant twins.
-Danced and ate delicious food in English.
-Was photographed many, many times dancing like an idiot with Dominique and Adrian and Donte by Mrs. Dugas for the yearbook.
-Spent the beginning of lunch with Hannah, Dylan and Hendrik, freezing my ass off.
-Spent the second part of lunch in the dance room, talking and lighting things on fire with my favorite girls. <3
-Burnt the corners or my I.D. to a thin crisp.
-Almost got burnt my a flaming sucker, lit on fire by Zion. Lmfao.
-Got a visit from Dylan and Hendrik in dance, talked to them for a bit outside in the sleet. (:
-Laughed at Dylan's ugly purple truck and fruit pedicures.
-Failed a Civics test.
-Got hit on by a creepy yet attractive boy in Civics while taking that test, along with Ashley and Claire.
-Went to the orthodontist. I don't have to go back for another three whole months. Excited!

Now I'm just sitting at home, writing, listening to Incubus, and listening to the rain. (: It's so peaceful in my house right now. I have to go to dancing later, and I'm actually looking forward to it. Also, MARDI GRAS/BREAK starts this weekend.

The only thing that's not so good in my life right now is this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I have. I don't think about you as much anymore, but you are still there. And I still miss you.

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